can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize