I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
