Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
