I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize