OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can text with my tongue
It's just like the Real World with babies
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
