Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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