I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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