Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
