Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
