Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
