We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
