Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
