He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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