whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
