Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
