We got so high we made milksteak
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
