summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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