yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
