I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
