he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
