Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
