you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
