why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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