Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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