The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize