soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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