3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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