I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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