Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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