I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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