If that was your dad, he is hot
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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