May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
