Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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