what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
