it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
