Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
