? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
