no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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