she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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