he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
