any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
