No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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