Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
