he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize