I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
