how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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