If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
as a side note pls kill me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
