In the future we'll all be gay
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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