I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
