just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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