you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
