Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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