my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
