dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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