dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize