Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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