She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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