It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize