we have pet lesbian snakes
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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