We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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