I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So squirting runs in the family.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize