This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
