just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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